very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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