oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize