she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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