im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He kissed a someone with a penis
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize