if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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