the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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