ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
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If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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