I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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