party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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