she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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