so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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