for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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