so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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