kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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