Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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