I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize