I just made out with a guy for $7.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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