he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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