My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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