So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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