your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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