I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize