My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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