Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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