It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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