Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize