she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize