I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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