The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize