Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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