My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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