If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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