And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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