when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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