I intend to get homeless drunk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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