saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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