i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Randomize