Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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