why didn't you poke me back
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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