I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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