your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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