Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
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He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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