You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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