dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
40s are totally the cure
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize