Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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