Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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