I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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