Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
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you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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