I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Of course I have a pirate flag
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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