"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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